There's No Place Like Home

I think I have figured out one of the most pressing questions known to mankind; Why, when it comes to using the bathroom, is there no place like home? I have pondered this question at different times in my life, especially when I have been speeding home to get to "my" bathroom as sweat drips gently from my brow and the old digestive track is working overtime so as to make you think that maybe, just maybe your having an appendicitis attack---wait, I had those things out years ago! And of course, that is when you hit all the red lights in town, get behind the tractor moving slowly down main street(and taking up both lanes I might add). Then FINALLY you're home. You jump (cautiously) out of the car and race up the stairs, singing the Hallelujah Chorus. You have arrived to that wonderful place of utter relief--dun dun dun--your personal commode and all is well with the world again!
Why, you might say, did Janice bring this up? Well, I'm glad you asked! :) I was at a conference in Salt Lake a couple of weeks ago and went in to use the "facilities"(that's the politically correct term for "bathroom" in the higher end hotels) and to my utter surprise and delight, each stall actually had a floor to ceiling door on it? Yes, it's true! You mean I can't sit there and lock eyes with someone through the 2" space between the door and wall as they wash their hands and glance at me in the mirror? Or someone can't see underneath the door as the contents of my pockets fall onto the floor, or check to see if I have a hole in my sock cause I need to give my feet a breather and take off my shoes? Or, heaven forbid, see if I really just put my purse on the bathroom floor?! What kind of a woman is IN that stall? Anyway, I felt something I hadn't felt in a public bathroom for a very long time if ever------complete privacy!!! Wow, that's why we race home! I get it! Privacy where we don't have to play with the toilet paper holder, or rustle with the toilet seat protectors or keep flushing the toilet just to make noise because all of a sudden when you go in, it doesn't matter how many people are in there, you can hear a pin drop. Moral of the story? If you are ever far, far away from home and your body gives you "the nudge", just get to the nearest, nicest hotel lobby and maybe, just maybe, they will have a "facility" with floor to ceiling doors! But always remember, there's no place like home! Happy Day!! :)