Forgiveness Verses Trust

In a book I'm reading(yes it's for school so prepared to be taught! ha ha), I came across some really good information about forgiveness and trust. I know that sometimes we think that when we forgive someone, trust is part of the process. This is not the case if behaviors haven't changed. The origin of the English word forgiveness meant "letting go." Years ago you would have heard someone say, "Forgive the ropes," when they wanted you to let go of the ropes. Forgiveness is the act of facing the pain and anger that someone has brought into your life and letting go of any need or desire to pay that person back.
Trust, on the other hand, is a confidence in the integrity of a person to act in a particular way. Forgiveness is past oriented; trust is present and future focused. Forgiveness is about letting go; trust is about holding on. Forgiveness is something undeserved; trust is something earned.
Example: Lets say I'm a therapist and at the end of our session we stand up to leave the room, and you open the door for me and politely offer, "After you." But just as I walk through the door, wham-you slam it on the back of my heel. As I double over in pain, you profusely apologize, explaining that I had said something in the session that upset you and you lost all impulse control as I walked out the door.
"I reassure you that I will forgive you, and we set our next appointment. Once again, after the appointment, you hold the door for me. I walk through but then wham- you slam my heel in the door just like the first time. I pick myself up off the floor to hear you begging my forgiveness again, explaining that once more I had angered you and you were unable to contain your fury.
At this point I would forgive you but would never trust you to hold the door open for me again.
Trust is the ground from which all your expectations grow. It encompasses every aspect of a person-from something as simple as calling when you said you would call to being where you said you would be.
In a society where phrases like, "it's not worth the paper it's written on," are prevalent, we need to get back to the good old days when a man's word was his bond and if you shook hands on a deal it was as good as done. I was thinking about when we bought our cabin lot. Jeffrey had talked with the man that owned it and the man and Jeffrey had secured a deal over the phone. When the man got home, he received another phone call about the property where they were willing to pay a substantial amount more for the lot. This man had integrity and told him that he had just given his word to Jeffrey and it was sold. There was no contract and this man could have made a lot more money but he had given his word. This man had integrity. I will get off my teaching soapbox now. :)
Conference was great and Easter was exciting since the Easter Bunny had to borrow Santa's Sleigh to get to my house. :) Hope you are doing well and love to you all!!! Happy Day!
Thought for the day: " To one who has faith, no explanation is necessary. To one without faith, no explanation is possible. "